I am officially a conspiracy theorist.

I was telling my mom about how they make down today. She was like, I had no idea. I was like, yeah, I know, it’s like a conspiracy, isn’t it? They try to keep it hidden from us. She was like, yeah I guess so.

Yay she agreed.

Think of all the stuff they try to keep hidden.

The average person has not the slightest inkling where milk comes from and what happens to the baby calves. If you told them the true story about where dairy comes from well, it’s so horrifying they probably wouldn’t even believe it. No one knows. HA! It’s hilarious! And yet not, obviously.

I remember I used to think maybe I would have a dairy farm one day because you could be around animals but didn’t have to kill any.

You do though. It’s crazy.

The average person has no idea animals are even “people”.

What a twisted web it is.

Anyway, today I went out for my attempted daily walk to catch some rays.

Around a bend I saw tons of birds lining this railing.

I walked closer and a woman, who looked possibly homeless but was very stylishly dressed, was feeding the birds.

Seagulls were swarming in the air. Canadian geese, ducks and pigeons flocked below.

It was the most beautiful thing I have seen all year maybe. The sun was coming through their feathers. It was like a painting from the bible.

Their calls in the air, the color of the white feathers–I don’t even know what it was but it was an almost deja vu esque experience where I felt I had seen it in a dream or something. It was exactly like I remembered it, like angels.

It reminded me of something. Maybe the feeling of the most beautiful art I have ever made…or seen.

It was so beautiful. I thought about 1. how lucky these birds were that they were free. And 2. how we look down on them so much when really they are the most beautiful amazing creatures.

I stood there watching and then eventually started talking to the woman.

She had escaped from kosovo. She came here with nothing, no money and she didn’t speak English. She told me that she “never forget” what it was like to be hungry and so for years she had been coming every day to feed the birds. She told me they come all the way from New Jersey on the opposite side of the hudson river every day to wait for her. She is the only one who feeds them in the winter and they have nothing to eat except grass if there isn’t snow. She told me she used to have dreams when she was younger about being a bird and flying with wings on her back and she had always loved birds and animals. She was like people think I’m the crazy bird lady, but I don’t care.

An animal lover like me.

We had a good chat.

It made me think about something I have been thinking about recently.

How a city is like this total bastardization of nature like you might see in a sci-fi movie that’s supposed to take place in the future.

For example, there is this sculpture in the park. It looks like an engagement ring but there’s an apple on the top.

One lone apple in a metal setting, in a gray concrete city, a city that should be full of apple trees. I saw a Poland Spring truck with a picture of evergreen trees and a babbling stream on it. It was like an optical illusion of the Garden of Eden on the back of a gray truck.

There are cabbages growing underneath the twig like trees that line the streets. The trees just seemed so scrawny and pitiful and it was funny to me that the cabbages were just decoration and no body knew that we should be eating that cabbage.

I guess it is like this Garden of Eden fetish I have. We should be naked bathing in a waterfall lol eating fruit from the orchards and playing with the animals.

I guess that makes me a hippie? But I already knew that lol.

You know what’s really cool, since as you may know, pole dancing is my hobby, I now have the upper body strength to scale trees, and did so today on my walk before I met the Bird Lady. I think I could create a sport, tree poling though it would probably be really dangerous. I’m all set to live in nature.

Now where is my fruit orchard and my tropical paradise.

There is this woman on instagram, Ellen Fisher.

She and her husband live in Maui with their adorable baby (he’s probably about 1) Elvis. They are both raw vegan fruitarians. I read an interview with her about how she became a raw vegan/fruitarian to cure her health problems and her skin. Her husband joined her. She was like “most people probably think our lives are incredibly boring because we don’t drink, go out to eat ever, drink coffee or do anything, but we love our lives. We have gained so much athletic ability and we just hang out with elvis and go to the beach all day.” Maja paraphrasing there, but her instagram is all photos of them hanging out on the beach in Maui together and eating fruit. (her youtube)

That sounds so great.

I’d give up pole dancing, clubbing, restaurants, cultural events, and getting drunk for that. I just would be sad to leave my family who all live in nyc.

I saw this thing on a blog lately that was a picture of a girl, a boy, and a dog and it said You, Me and the Dog.

Yeah, I get that.

(pictures from my life inspiration board on pinterest. Kind of a creepy name, lol, but oh well)