Yearly Archives: 2014

Fruitarian Thoughts

Today my adorable 9 year old niece came over for dinner.

Everyone got burritos, but I got rice and beans and made an enormous salad and put the rice and beans on top for a wannabe fruitarian, semi high carb low fat vegan meal.

My niece was in awe of the size of the bowl.

She was like, “that looks like a bowl you would bring to serve a whole family!”

She was like, “are you really going to eat all that?” multiple times.

Then she was like, “but you don’t look that…..”

“fat?” I said?

“yeah” she said.

I told her eating this had actually made me lose weight! She was amazed.

What’s so sad is she told me in my room when she was rolling up her pants that it was so embarrassing cause her tiny thighs were really fat.

She is at that age already where she is worried about being fat. I’d say that was crazy, but I remember also thinking I was fat at that tiny bony age.

She was really into the idea of fruitarianism. When I told her you could eat as much fruit as you wanted, she was like “i would totally do it if I could.”

haha.

I guess it’s just funny to me.

You don’t get that response a lot from most people, lol.

But it’s also not funny. So many girls, growing girls, go through life with this huge weight on their mind. That they’re going to get fat and be humiliated and shamed by our culture for life.

Something I have experienced firsthand.

I wish I had known about how to eat enormous bowls of food and not get fat. I went hungry too much in my past.

By choice.

I don’t like that.

I wasted a lot of time starving myself on low carb diets that were really high in fat. But I didn’t know what that meant.

It bothers me now when I hear people trying to give up sugar or deal with their emotional eating.

I feel like they should try high carb low fat vegan, but that’s the exact opposite of everything they believe.

Sugar is Evil. Fruit makes you fat. It’s not healthy. You need protein. You’ll get potassium poisoning.

YEAHHH….heard it all before.

Fruit is so good. It always tastes fresh and delicious…well most of the time. I’m so glad I’ve eaten so much fruit this year. It’s pretty cool.

I haven’t got the low fat high carb thing down perfect, but I am getting better, and it is soooooooo much easier and less stressful than when I started.

My friend reminded me the other day of how when I first started the diet, I would say to him “I F-ing hate fruit” laughing. Because I was trying to be raw, but fruit got so boring.

Now my tastebuds have changed and I never say that. I know what fruits I like, and when I like them. I know what bad or tasteless fruit tastes like and I won’t eat it. I know that if I waited too long to eat and the hunger snuck up on me, then i either have to eat a lot of fruit really fast or just eat something more substantial to get over the hump. I know that the more fruit I eat, the more benefits I see so I feel really motivated to eat fruit.

I am extremely happy with my way of eating. It isn’t hard at all now. It really was in the beginning though. My family have mostly accepted it. I figured out that I could eat potatoes and McDougal style recipes and starches as back ups though now, and now it’s all good.

I’m on a roll.

 

 

 

Anxious Dreams about Steel Bolts and Esther the Wonder Pig

Last night I had a lot of anxious dreams.

I usually don’t stay up at night thinking and stressing about things, but last night I did. I failed a test and that put my mind into a spin.

Right before I went to bed I started thinking about how there were pigs right now waiting to be slaughtered. I had this revelation. I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t believe it’s going to happen. I can’t believe it is happening right now!

I know it’s obvious, but I’m so removed from it…I guess in my half dream state I had forgot that this was oh so real. Murders were going on and would continue to go on now, tomorrow and the next day.

In my dream, when I finally fell asleep I dreamed I was being chased by people with guns who were shooting me and my friends. I eventually managed to get a gun, but I couldn’t figure out how to cock it or whatever. I eventually ended up having to shoot the attacker in self defense. It was the image from the cow slaughterhouse in ghosts in the machine, a steel bolt through the forehead.

This morning I was looking at Facebook and saw posts from Toronto Pig Save about how some guys in an SUV rolled down their windows and threw a piece of bacon at them while they were holding a vigil.

In a beautiful move, the activists buried the piece of bacon.

It reminded me of something I had to read in school a few times, the Ancient Greek tragedy Antigone.

This princess is obsessed with giving her brother who rebelled against the state a proper burial. He was her brother and she loved him. But the king forbid it under penalty of death.

She buries him anyway knowing the price is death.

The activists gave that pig that people reduce to a joke and a piece of bacon a proper burial. They showed the dignity of every life, no matter how trivial it may seem to most to bury a piece of bacon.

I thought it was a beautiful act.

Sometimes at night when i am curled into my covers in my nest of pillows, I get an image of Esther the Wonder Pig in my mind, nestled into her couch with a pig smile on her face and a look of utter contentment. And I feel that I am feeling the exact same emotion, and I know we are the same.

When I look at pictures of Esther the Wonder Pig on Facebook, I often wonder about her. She looks so intelligent, but is so different than us. I wonder what goes on in her mind. And I marvel at the privilege we have to share our lives with other mysterious beings, with mysterious intelligences.

It really is a privilege to share our lives with animals, so much more connected to nature and to our roots and their instincts.

I think it is wonderful. Why do we abuse that. Why do we kill them. I don’t get it.

At lunch the other day, i ate with a vegetarian. We were talking about veganism, and she was saying how she doesn’t eat meat from animals that are smart unlike chickens and unless she knows they were local, sustainably and organically raised.

I struggled figuring out what to do. I wished I had been able to totally refute her in a non confrontational way, but I didn’t want to spend the whole lunch trying to get her to change her ways and understand the immorality of killing based on intelligence levels.

So I just put in a few good words where I could. It’s hard to confront. With her I realized she had just not seen the light yet. I tried to tell her about Toronto Pig Save and she was very receptive.

Is everyone like that? Could the world be changed just by bearing witness? Just by people finally seeing the light?

Or are their darker forces of evil at work. Are there people who hate animals. Who don’t understand animals and don’t respect them.

The anti-animal lovers of the world.

I am an animal lover and always have been. But some people don’t like animals. Maybe they are scared of them. Maybe they are not gentle personalities like I think I am. I think that gives me an edge with animals because I am calm and sensitive and I think they like that and sense I understand them. But some people have no interest in animals.

I don’t know, it is just troubling, is it not?

It is getting to me today.

Have you guys been struggling with thinking about animal rights at all lately? Please share. I’d love to hear what you are worried about lately.